Couples often don’t have a lot of communication tools when they enter marriage. When conversations get tough, they may need better tools than they have. Here are some basic skills they’ll need.
“Could you please bring home a few apples?” my new bride, Diane, asked.
I was headed to the store, and Diane made this simple request as I was leaving. “Sure,” I said. It felt good to help her out.
I like apples that are a little tart, so I purchased some small, green apples on sale. When I arrived at home and presented her with my gift, Diane said, “I wanted apples for eating, not for baking.” Her voice was tense, filled with frustration. “Just regular, red apples.”
I had expected her to be grateful for my effort, but she wasn’t — and I was angry. I thought, She didn’t tell me what kind of apples, and I gave her exactly what she asked for.
In the early days of our marriage, we realized that we each brought an individual view of life to the relationship and that neither of us was a mind reader. We had to learn ways to find out what the other was thinking.
Typical newlyweds are not fully equipped for marriage and need help from the community. For example, newlyweds usually don’t have furniture or cookware to set up a home, so wedding guests bring gifts to get them started. In the same way, couples often don’t have a lot of communication tools when they enter marriage. When conversations get tough, they may need better tools than they have, but they don’t know where to find them.
What if a couple registered for communication tools instead of toasters? Here are the six tools I’d want to see on their list: (See more)
6 Tools for Healthy Communication in Marriage
